There are no words.
I, like most of you, have gone through a myriad of emotions: outrage, anger, sadness, disillusionment, confusion and fear (for our society).
After all of those emotions I find myself clinging, clinging to my faith, and clinging to our GOD.
I have heard many people lash out and ask, “why would GOD allow this to happen?” I cannot answer that emphatically, but I can only tell you what I know to be true in my heart, and HE is the very cornerstone of my being.
What transpired on December 14th at 9:30 AM EST broke Jesus’ heart, just as it break yours now.
(In John 11:35 it says Jesus wept.)
Even before that fateful morning I believe His heart was breaking…for Adam Lanza. Because, in my opinion, while Adam Lanza was most likely disturbed–he was also afflicted–with pure evil.
The kind of evil that can cause you to shoot your own mother in the face at point-blank range, drive to a school to murder 26 beautiful souls, then turn the gun on yourself.
The kind of evil that only comes from one source–Satan.
We live in a fallen world, one only needs to look around for the evidence–shootings at malls, movie theaters and schools. That’s Satan at work.
BUT, in the midst of all of this, there is beauty, there is grace, there is love, and that is GOD.
You see GOD gave us a lot of gifts; but one of the most radical ones he gave us was free will. Imagine how hard that was for Him. “Hmm…let’s see, I’ll give this one the extraordinary gift of song; I love her so!! I created her in my own image, but I want her to love me and choose me, therefore I will give her free will.”
And so it was the same with Adam Lanza. I believe that GOD was ever-present in this young man’s life but I don’t believe Adam Lanza CHOSE God. This much is very clear to me.
I relay all of this to remind you that every day we have a choice–to serve ourselves–or serve someone greater.
Every day we can choose to do for ourselves, or do for others (agape love).
Every day we can make a conscious effort to be that lifeline for someone, anyone. It may be a stranger, or your cube-mate at work, or it may be a family member or friend. All I know is we’ve got to start taking better care of one another. That could simply mean saying you are sorry, or doing a favor for someone that cannot possibly repay you. Or it may mean more, MUCH more. ”60 Minutes” has reported that in almost all school shootings, the victim told someone of his intent to commit the attack. This fact shakes me to my core, but in a weird way it also inspires me..to do more, to be more. I want to love with reckless abandon; I want to give until it hurts; I want to be someone’s lifeline. You can be, too. Just open your eyes. The opportunity to “leak Jesus” is all around you.
And if you are reading this, and you don’t believe, well selfishly I want you to, because I want you to have the same peace I have in crazy times like these. I want you to have the same UNSPEAKBLE and UNQUENCHABLE joy I have; but regardless of what you do with your free will, I urge you to LOVE ON, my friend.
Throw off the chains that may bind you, keep your eyes open, your mind vigilant, and look for the people in this world that DESPERATELY need YOUR touch.
GOD BLESS YOU!
Rachel Baribeau
