Grief is one of life’s most universal experiences, yet it’s often one of the least understood. In this week’s episode of the Joy Starters Podcast, I had the privilege of sitting down with Meghan Riordan Jarvis, a trauma-trained clinical psychotherapist, TEDx speaker, coach, and author of Can Anyone Tell Me? Essential Questions About Grief and Loss. Megan’s insights into grief and loss, drawn from her professional expertise and deeply personal experiences, left me moved and inspired to share her powerful message.
Meghan began by sharing her journey into trauma therapy, a field she has worked in for over two decades. She spoke candidly about the physical and emotional toll grief can take, explaining how central nervous system dysregulation manifests in our bodies. “Grief isn’t just an emotional experience,” she said. “It’s physiological, impacting everything from your sleep to your digestion to your ability to feel joy.”
Her perspective hit home for me, especially as she described the difference between “normal” grief and the more complex, life-altering kind. Meghan’s own story of losing her parents—a father whose death she could prepare for and a mother whose passing was sudden and devastating—underscored the wide spectrum of grief experiences. It reminded me of my own journey, losing my mother in 2019 and the profound impact it had on my identity and sense of self.
A Revolution in Grief Education
One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation was Meghan’s call for a revolution in how we educate ourselves and others about grief. She highlighted a shocking reality: while grief touches every single person at some point, there’s almost no formal training for therapists or accessible resources for individuals navigating loss. She likened the situation to Googling how to run a marathon or become a vegan—plenty of credible resources exist for those searches, but when it comes to “How do I grieve?” the results are often anecdotal, vague, or simply unhelpful.
Her book, Can Anyone Tell Me?, and her Grief Mentor Method aim to fill that gap by providing tools and guidance for both grievers and those supporting them. Meghan explained that grieving is not about following a prescribed path but understanding the ingredients needed to heal. Whether it’s taking a walk, organizing your space, or listening to music, the tools are as unique as the individuals using them.
The Impact of Hustle Culture on Grief
As we delved deeper, Meghan and I discussed how hustle culture exacerbates our inability to process grief. Society often pushes us to “bounce back” quickly, to return to work, and to suppress our pain in favor of productivity. Meghan pointed out that this expectation not only isolates grievers but also disconnects them from their own bodies and needs.
For many women especially, grief becomes another area where we feel we’re failing if we don’t handle it “perfectly.” Meghan explained how cultural conditioning often teaches us to prioritize others over ourselves, making it even harder to attend to our grief. “When we’re grieving,” she said, “our imaginations shut off, and our ability to understand our needs diminishes. That’s when support becomes crucial.”
This resonated deeply with me. I reflected on my own journey of moving from hustle to savor culture, a shift that allowed me to embrace rest and healing rather than constantly striving. Grief, Meghan reminded us, demands space, tenderness, and permission to be felt fully.
Moving Forward with Compassion
As we wrapped up our conversation, Meghan emphasized the importance of mindfulness and connection in navigating grief. She shared a poignant truth: grief often reshapes who we are, stripping away the non-essential and leaving us with a more profound understanding of ourselves. That transformation, while painful, can also be a source of strength and clarity.
For those supporting someone who is grieving, Meghan offered simple, yet powerful, advice: don’t judge, don’t rush, and don’t assume. Instead, listen with compassion, validate their feelings, and give them the space to grieve in their own way.
This episode was a reminder that grief is not something to be fixed or avoided but embraced as a natural and necessary part of life. Meghan’s wisdom challenges us to approach loss not with fear but with curiosity and care—for ourselves and for others.
If you’re grieving or know someone who is, this conversation is a must-listen. And if nothing else, let it serve as a gentle reminder to hold space for yourself and your loved ones as you navigate the complex, messy, and ultimately transformative journey of grief.
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